taking a break

from the blog

Just thought you should know…

Don’t you love those days

when errands take you to the end of the day? The boys aren’t even in the bath yet, and it is 8…their bedtime. Oh well, welcome to vacation a day early. Drew is uber excited for his veggietale CDs we have from the library. The CD player is packed already. That is the theme of today - pack. Take all the junk we bought for the car ride, and pack away.

Next time you hear from me, we’ll be in Denver! Hooray!

Have a great couple of days!

As I’m listing away

I realize it is really quiet downstairs. Usually if I’m upstairs and Drew is downstairs, he runs up periodically to check on me, you know, to make sure I’m OK. I went down to check on him, and he was curled up asleep on the couch. He is a really particular kid about when and where he sleeps. He always has been. I’ve always wanted to see him asleep on the couch, but it isn’t his personality. If he felt himself get tired, he’d usually go to bed.

It is such a rare moment, that I soaked it in for a while. He made a new friend, and slept on the couch today - a big day of changes for my little boy…who isn’t so little anymore.

I just spoke with one of Drew’s favorite friend’s mom today. I wanted to make sure they would be around for Drew’s birthday. This is the family we have celebrated Drew’s birthday with for the past three years…it is a non-negotiable as far as Drew is concerned. B HAS to be at my party, mommy.

Speaking of, we have been going around the block with all sorts of ideas for his birthday. He wanted Hot Wheels for a while, which I was SO excited about, but then it changed. He said Wall-E, but I told him we haven’t seen it yet, so maybe something different. Buzz Lightyear was a choice, so was Monster’s Inc. and then he settled for Little Einsteins. You may remember Santa’s tactical error just last year and the story of Rocket. Now I have to get to figure out the fun challenge of making this:

You need to go to Andrea’s Recipes and see the other things she has there - great stuff. I am not a cake maker. I watch Ace of Cakes and LOVE what they do - that is not me. That is SO NOT ME. Sure, I could go buy a cake…a boring sheet cake with a picture of the Little Einsteins on it…I could…I won’t, but I could. Instead, I will conquer this cake. I will make it, or one sort of like it, for my son’s birthday. Up until now, I’ve been lucky. Drew has always preferred cupcakes, so I haven’t had to make a cake since Randy’s 30th.

But I’m not thinking about the rocket cake quite yet. That is for another list of things to do - and with luck, Drew will change his mind again, and I could make this or this or maybe this….heh.

Here we go

Getting ready to head out for Colorado on Wednesday. Today is lists, lists, and more lists. Tomorrow is packing while the boys play at daycare.

Coming off a great weekend. We played at our good friends’ cabin. The lake is nice and shallow. Even at the end of the dock Drew could jump in and only be up to his shoulders. He LOVED playing in the lake. The kid likes water. Owen is still a bear - sick and teething, but on the mend.

Today we went to the pool - great time. We ran into friends and Drew reached a mile stone today, he made a new friend at the pool all by himself AND they had fun…very cool to watch.

Off to list and such.

The nature of loose ends

Unless they get tied really tight, they come undone along the way.

I could spend most of today tying many loose ends, and yet I have a list of things that must be accomplished. Hard to know where to begin, but I suppose at the beginning, Vizzini, is always the best bet.

But here are a few tidbity questions for you to ponder as you go merrily on your way:

What does one say to the young checkout girl who says, “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t mind crying kids.” before I can even make any sort of crack about the tired-of-the-store-tantrum my child is throwing?

Is it ridiculously masochistic behavior or selfless parent behavior to tape Monsters Inc for your child because you know it is his favorite movie right now and the library version must be returned soon?

Does Chai replace a good cup of coffee in the morning? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

So I’m off to make a french press cup of coffee, and get this list banged out. Have a fabulous Tuesday.

Just a smattering of things

Yesterday, after a romp in the sprinkler, Drew decided he and Duncan needed a snuggle.

music has been the theme of the last few days. Either Drew is listening to it on the “white computer,” his headphones, or the radio in his room. Sometimes he doubles up.

Here is the layout that I finally finished yesterday. This is from Las Vegas in April ‘07. The boys slept so lovely together…sigh.

Other than that, not much happening.

D: Mommy! (said while I tossed an empty box down the stairs to store later.)
M: What?
D: What IS that? (pointing at the box at the bottom of the stairs.)
M: A box?
D: Nooooo. That is a space wrapper for my flashlight!
M: Of course. How could I miss that?

It doesn’t feel like Sunday

Finally I’ve let go of school brain. Today is the weird day where I can’t seem to grasp what day it is, I can’t stay focused on one task for too long. I can’t get much accomplished, but I feel free. I feel like it is fine to flit from here to there doing things on a whim…at least for a day. I’ll get back to some sense of order tomorrow, but today is lazy brain day.

A couple reads I’m working on:

Purple Hibiscus. I read this for school, and I can’t wait to teach it. It is such a wonderful story about family, loyalty, love, and honor. It takes the idea of piety and flips it over for examination from every angle. It resonates with the heart after the last page is turned. Rich with beautiful passages and poignant themes, but not a hard read. I want to read her latest release as well: Half of a Yellow Sun.

The Glass Castle. I received this from Brenda for Christmas. I have wanted to read it since then, but haven’t had time. I started it two nights ago and hope to finish it today. It is an amazing and hard-to-believe story about a nontraditional family. The way it opens is so awesome.

I’ve scrapped a little bit…or perhaps I have worked on a scrapbook page (for you, Girlgriot). I hope to actually upload later…big dreams for today…what is today again? Oh right, Sunday.

Happy Fourth

We started our fireworks early. Our bike trailer tire burst with a LOUD BANG riding home from the park today. We had just purchased our fireworks for tonight, so it all seemed so fitting. Randy rode home while the boys and I walked over to Hy-vee to grab a treat while we waited for Randy to return with the van. Of course we chose ice cream sandwiches. Of course we didn’t have any napkins. Of course Owen was a hot ice cream sandwich mess. Of course we laughed about it as we cleaned ourselves the best we could with water from the water bottle.

Randy came and loaded the boys and the trailer into the van. There wasn’t room for my bike, so I rode home. After pulling the trailer with 65 pounds of boy behind me, I felt so free.

Which is the theme of today as we grill brats, drink beer, and watch fireworks - we can do all of this because of a vision oh so long ago. Perhaps we will celebrate our current soldiers fighting ruthlessly to maintain this freedom. Perhaps we will toast them through a bike ride, a brat, or the giggle of our children over the mess of ice cream.

A big thank you to all our soldiers old and young whose vision for freedom is acute and precise. Thank you.

Blood Suckers

I know I live in Minnesota. I know the joke goes something like this:

but we live in SE Minnesota and the one county without a natural lake and quite a few spring fed springs, which means hardly any mosquitoes. With the wetlands we have been in June, we have been a breeding ground for bloodsuckers. Poor Drew’s ear is swollen.

I looked like a moron in my backyard waving my arms, kicking my legs, slapping myself, my husband, and my kids. Yes, we have the family friendly cutter, but these skeets are ruthless, seriously. So we are a little housebound during dusky hours and this is what happens:

We are all a little batty. Thank goodness a trip to skeet-free Colorado is coming up, or the zany level here at chez Brock would be through the roof!

Cleanse

I love this word. It sees a little harsh and evokes images of sweaty brows, rubber gloves, and copious scrubbing, but I like it. We cleaned the house last night because we had friends over for a BBQ. Now, I cleansed the upstairs bathroom and the kitchen, but the rest of the house, just a clean. Drew wanted his bed moved, so we rearranged his room, and I suppose there was a bit of cleansing, but really, just a clean. The basement and Owen’s room are still in need of a clean. And the basement needs an overhaul cleanse of all things unnecessary.

Which is why I love this word. The task is daunting. The very idea is overwhelming and takes a while to devise a plan or even consider how long it possibly will take, and by the time all the thinking is over, one needs a nap.

I live in constant need of cleansing. My mind becomes cluttered with stuff to do, the inability to see the progress takes over and it then focuses on the undone. Instead of pulling on the metaphorical gloves, I go into nap mode. To get out, I make lists. I’ve talked about this before…my odd need to accomplish things…so much so, that if I do something that wasn’t on the list, I add it and then cross it off. So I’ve started the list for the physical, and then I start to see the crossover talk for the metaphorical.

If I would just do a little every day, then it wouldn’t be such a big mess
Why don’t I straighten up each night before I go to bed?
If it comes in, the something else must go out
Just a few minutes at the beginning of every day to center myself and really see what has to be done, and what I just want to be done

And then I see it. This is reminiscent of my perfectionism. This is what starts the downward spiral into believing what Satan has so masterfully whispered to me for years. You can’t possibly do it all, nor well. You can’t do this - you aren’t worth it. Don’t bother, it won’t be done well. This is what I choose to believe, and what is so far from truth it is ridiculous to even fathom. This is the start of a regiment, and I don’t do regiment well. I want to believe I do, but I don’t. I do lists and carry over well. I do contemplative consideration well. I do listening to the energy of the house and boys and let that dictate the direction for the day well. When I throw the regimented schedule out, then I accomplish things like, um, writing, praying, studying, exercising, working, and cleaning all around a healthy dose of playing.

Playing and cleansing go hand in hand I’ve learned from Drew. “I don’t want to help clean up. it makes me so boring.” So we play a game. I become the cleaning wizard who turns him into a marshmallow if stray toys are found tucked under stuffed animals, or a bed is messy, or art supplies are left out. He looks forward to the wizard, and baits me into turning him into a marshmallow - and I realize that this is what it is all about. It doesn’t have to be hard or harsh, this whole living thing. It becomes hard when I try to apply a system or ideology that isn’t true to who I am. It becomes hard when I believe the task of cleaning is bigger than I am - but cleansing, well that doesn’t happen unless God is invited to the party - because all tasks look minuscule to Him. If I unwrap my tiny fingers from the silly idea of order, then life falls into place. It is in that place I realize that cleaning and cleansing are all part of the daily reflection…and if I really listen the message is clear:

Living is the constant act of cleansing.